mayapotz’s blog

    Christmas is just around the corner so I guess there's no harm in coming up with a list of things I'd love to have.   Who knows? I may have a rich friend out there who's willing to make me smile. Hehe.

Harry Potter Hardcover Boxed Set (Books 1-7)
    Who could forget the "Boy who Lived"?  I love reading but I just can't seem to find the time to sit down and just read.  With these books, I had absolutely no problem motivating myself.  I could barely stop reading them. That's how exciting the story was.  The truth is, I have copies of all seven books. Still, I want another set just so I have one that is purely for collection purposes.   I saw it in National Bookstore. It's being sold at P7.999.00. Yowza! 

Box of Lemon Bars from Chocolat
    I'm gaining weight everyday but I don't care. LOL.  These tasty treats have got me hooked.  I'm not a big fan of chocolates so I opted to try the Lemon Bar during one of our many trips to MOA.  It tasted absolutley divine.  Now, if you don't have time to go to MOA, I'd gladly settle for the Becky's Kitchen version. Hehe.

Lord of the Rings: The Motion Picture Trilogy

AverTV Box 9 media box high definition
    I want to convert all my VHS recordings to DVD format. I need to capture all the stuff to my computer fast. The quality of the picture is most likely deteriorating as we speak.

Accessories
    I'll be happy with any kind of accessory as long as it's made of silver.  I hate gold... I don't think I'll ever get used to wearing it unless it comes in the white gold variety.

    I guess this is it for now. I'll add more tomorrow. I'm sleepy...

Kill me now!

After a four-day break, I accomplished absolutely nothing for work.  I am actually feeling nauseated at the fact that we have to go back to school tomorrow.  I am literally shaking... LMAO. My new mantra must be... 'I must finish the grades.'  I doubt it will help but hypnosis may prove to be my last desperate attempt to push myself to start working.  I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of paper work.

I hate that this happens at the end of every quarter. *bawls*

I met up with some friends today. 

The day started out right with my brother and I waking up at around 7:30 am.  (I took him with me because no one would be left in the house).  We had to leave earlier because I wanted to hear mass at The Shrine of Jesus near MOA.  I've never been there and I thought it best to attend Sunday Mass there since our meeting time was 10:30 am at MOA.  We were a bit late arriving just in time for the First Reading.  I was surprised because the Church was jampacked with people.  It was my first time to go there and I really liked it because the mass was very solemn.  Even the songs that were sung weren't the usual ones.

By 10:30, Mich and I met up at McDonalds. As per usual, we were the only ones who arrived on time. Bwah!  We had to wait until 12:00 noon before we left for Dampa.  Lui and JP did all the ordering and we just waited for the food. I am a seafood lover so this was one rare occasion where I barely talked during lunch. LOL. Usually, you could not stop me from blabbing but today, they were all surprised as I did nothing but eat nonstop. I love my shrimps so much. Hee.   After lunch, Lui, JP and Pauleen had to leave so the rest of us went back to MOA to talk some more.  Lots of pics were taken especially since it's been so long since we all got together.  It sucks though because almost half were absent for whatever reason...

Now, why did I use the title "Life of something like it?"  Hmm... I guess because even after all the happy stories we shared over lunch, it all had to end with a bit of sadness yet again.  One of my friends called me up. She was crying and talking about her problems with her hubby. To say I was shocked would be an understatement.  It was the sure sign that the reunion where we pretended to be students again was over.  Now, we were back to reality.  I was actually pretty shocked with some of the stories I heard.  I felt like a manang again. LOL. 

I am rambling now because I really don't know what to say anymore. I've always been the sort of big sister of the group but after all these years, my head now begins to hurt when we talk of problems. Gone are the petty misunderstandings and the like.  Now, we have life-altering decisions... family problems... emotional garbage and the sort.  I guess we may want to stop life from happening but at one point in time, we just grow up. We never can pinpoint the exact moment but it happens.  And, we have to suck it up and live through it no matter what.  What's interesting is (this is a baduy moment), I watched a video of Anne Curtis' interview over at YouTube and as young as she is and as crazy showbiz is, she actually said something that made sense... "... you go through so many trials. Nobody said it was going to be easy pero laging i-she-shake ni God ang life natin pero in the end, it will be as beautiful as a rainbow."  I believe that and for me and my friends, I know the rainbow will come sooner than we think. *hugs friends*

Funniest moment of the day: Lhot asking me if my 17-year old brother was older than me. LMAO! Either I look too young or he looks old... BWAH!

When I was a kid, I used to love watching scary movies. My favorites were Poltergeist and the Freddy Krueger Series... Hee...  I was also quite addicted to the scary TV shows like The Twilight Zone...

Today, I think I should get back into the scary business and start with this list I found. I am pretty psyched to see Psycho. I just finished downloading it.  I also am intrigued by Erasherhead. Thank heavens for bittorrents. Now, I can just download the movies and watch them anytime I want.

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Top 10 Scariest Movies

1. "Psycho" (1960)
Alfred Hitchcock's blueprint for contemporary horror: More than just a film, "Psycho" was a cultural slap in the face. Censors wanted to ban it, while screaming audiences couldn't get enough of it. Hitch employs all of his tricks -- shifting audience sympathies, killing off the main character halfway through the film and a ton of macabre humor -- but more importantly he makes the horror internal. Norman Bates isn't a monster in the classic sense; he suggests that the greatest evil can lurk beneath the quietest, most pleasant surface.

2. Repulsion (1965)
Director Roman Polanski did more horror afterward, with "Rosemary's Baby" and "The Tenant," but this -- a menacing, nightmarish profile of one woman's descent into madness -- may be his most realized effort. Catherine Denueve embodies sexual repression as a young woman left alone in her apartment -- and to her deluded fantasies -- for the weekend. The film is nearly silent, creating a mounting mood of dread. Try watching it alone with the lights off and see how long you last.

3. "Night of the Living Dead" (1968)
A group of kids get trapped inside a farm house by an endless stream of flesh-eating zombies. Sounds silly, but director George Romero takes his simple premise and redefines the genre with a shoestring budget. The amount of sadistic gore, the claustrophobic tension, the rising levels of hysteria and an increasingly deflated awareness that a happy ending is impossible make this a nasty classic. There is no hope here, only suffocating terror.

4. "Suspiria" (1977)
"Suspiria" is a full-on sensory assault by Italian horror master Dario Argento, the cinematic equivalent of an anxiety attack. A poor American ballet student arrives in Europe and Argento berates her with weather, grisly murders, a possible coven of witches, his virtuosic camera, and possible the freakiest score ever conceived (by the director himself). The plot barely makes sense, so just let it terrorize you.

5. "Nightmare on Elm Street" (1984)
Before dream-killer Freddy Krueger became a quipping pop-culture reference, he represented the most twisted monster unleashed on the public since Halloween's Michael Myers. Seeking vengeance by slicing and dicing the children of the parents who murdered him, Freddy scared the hell out of Cineplex audiences. His on-screen entrance remains terrifying, as does much of director Wes Craven's surreal, smart and shocking masterpiece.

7. "Don't Look Now" (1973)
Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie head to Venice to forget the tragic accidental death of their child. However, it's impossible to forget when the dead child keeps reappearing. Nicolas Roeg's labyrinthine film is rich in dreamlike atmosphere and works on a purely psychological level: It disorients, frustrates and builds to a horrible climax, reminding that tragedy can never be forgotten ... and neither can this film.

9. "The Exorcist" (1973)
The real terror of "The Exorcist" may not involve Satan and possession, but the helplessness of a parent trying to save a child. Of course, a ton of harrowing special effects and director William Friedkin's somber respect for the supernatural subject matter doesn't hurt either. It's horror for grown-ups.

10. "Eraserhead" (1977)
David Lynch's cult classic is the closest thing to being stuck in a nightmare: Not much makes sense, but you get the feeling that nothing is quite right. Lynch employs dinners that walk off the plate, eerie silences that become deafening and an infant that makes Rosemary's baby seem cute and cuddly. So chilling it's damn near unwatchable.

Just missed: "The Shining" (1980); "Jaws" (1975); "The Silence of the Lambs" (1991); "Dead Ringers" (1988); "Seconds" (1966); "Audition" (1999)

Things happen for a reason. 

Whoever came up with that line must have known what he/she was talking about.  Let's face it. We can't control everything that happens in our lives. As much as we want to, things don't always end up the way we want them to. We may have the best of intentions but sometimes, circumstances just ruin all of our plans.  As such, all we can do is just accept everything and learn from our mistakes.  This past week, so many things have happened that I can't even begin to digest all of it. I don't know when but I definitely believe that the answers to my many questions will unfold in time.  A big part of me is still sad and bewildered about recent events but I guess that's that for now.  All I can do is smile.

Enough of that... Let me just talk a bit about our recently concluded 375th Anniversary celebration.  I know I must be saying this because it's my most recent experience but it is indeed very likely that the last two weeks have been the most tiring and testing weeks of my professional life.  I have never been under so much pressure to do well, to please other people and to maintain my sanity all at the same time.  I didn't even have time to complain anymore because the activities were overlapping.  Truth be told, I felt like a robot.   I can't even remember what happened anymore. Everything is just a blur.

The long week ended with our much a awaited Faculty Immersion to Bicol.  Gosh! It was like joining Extra Challenge from the get go.  The bus ride was uncomfortable as we had to fit 46 people in a 30+-seater bus.    I just have to laugh out loud thinking about it right now. It was pretty tiring but we were all troopers who found a way to entertain ourselves for the 12-hour trip. When we arrived at the place, we had to walk down a hill with our big bags. Then, we reserved slots in a classroom where we were going to sleep.  Once we were done, we had to go back up the hill.  It was pretty crazy because it was so steep. All we could do was laugh and take pics of our "uphill" battle.   The rain kept pouring as we waited for our ride to the relocation site.  Once we got there, it was already too muddy to go around.  So, all we could do was talk to the families.  After that, we had our lunch and traveled back to our temporary home.  We slept for a bit and then woke up to find our quarters being flooded by rain.   Some of us had to evacuate to another room. The next day was more fun as we went around some of the sites in Bicol.  Still, we were worried that we could get stranded because of the floods.  Thank goodness we were able to go home safe and sound... all thanks to Kuya Jutay and Kuya Arman. Hehe.

We didn't get to spend much time doing our immersion but like I said... things happen for a reason.  I'm pretty proud to be part of the BED Faculty.  No one ever complained and we all enjoyed just being around each other. I also got the chance to spend time and to bond with the Grade School teachers.  For that alone, I'm pretty happy.  I miss the craziness of it all... It was tiring but well worth it. 

Up Next: Our Institutional Retreat...

Day 1 of our 3-Day celebration -- OVER! Yay, At least 1/3 of the work has been accomplished.

I feel so exhausted. Would you believe that I haven't been eating lunch since Monday?  

I am more than happy to help in any way I can but I feel a bit frustrated because I failed to watch any other program. I didn't even see a glimpse of the motorcade or the dance contest. I had to do other tasks related to other activities.

Thank goodness the mass went smoothly... Thank God it stopped raining....

Tomorrow is another day to fight!

I've got a huge headache. It could be a result of any of the following:
     a.  not eating breakfast and lunch
     b.  misbehaving brother
     c.  misunderstanding with a friend
     d.  unending noise all day long
     e.  working on the quiz bee nonstop
     f.  all of the above.

Let me just quote my co-teacher, companion and new brother, Sir Von... "I can't explain the feeling."

Sitting at the rear of the room for three days straight during the Seniors' Retreat last October 17-19, 2007 in Tagaytay, I felt like I was one of my students.  It must have been fate that I decided not to bring any work with me.  I knew I could have used the opportunity to check test papers, compute grades and the like but I felt like I just wanted to relax for a few days and totally immerse myself in the comfort of being near nature.  I convinced Sir Von not to bring any semblance of work either. I found out it was his first time to ever attend a retreat so I took it upon myself to let him enjoy the experience.  He took my word of it and I guess it was meant to be.

From the very beginning, we both did everything the students were asked to do.  We shared stories, did the activities, reflected and prayed.  The next thing we knew, we were crying, laughing and experiencing the healing process. It's been a while since I've had a retreat like that. Oftentimes as a teacher, we are given more of formation talks about Vincentian values.  It's not that I don't learn something from Vincentian formation. I just never realized how much I needed to unburden myself and finally share my problems with others. I've never really talked about certain situations for a number of reasons.  During this retreat, I finally talked about it and it was such a big relief.  It was a special moment when one student after the other told me that things with my brother would work out in the end. It's not like everything was perfect when I got home but I finally believe that one day, it will be.

I am thankful I was there because I got to know the students even more. You never really can judge people based on their appearances.  Many of the students whom you'd have expected to be noisy turned out to be the most reflective ones while others seemed to be the opposite of what you thought. Heh. It was also pretty enlightening to hear their personal stories.  God bless them for sharing a part of themselves. I was especially happy that I got the chance to join the affirmation circle. I will continue to pray that the graces my students, friends and I received in those three days will stay with us always. I wasn't even back in school for one hour and I could feel the "daily routine" feel suck me back with negativity.  It's definitely going to be a struggle... but as Sister Lily said, the struggle to be good alone is enough for God.  So I guess, we must all struggle together.

I realize now that I was truly meant to be in that retreat. The facilitators, Tito Raph and Tita Karn, spoke to my heart.  In fact, they're even in the very same situation that I am in now. Could that have been a mere coincidence? I think not!  Furthermore, I got to know a friend on a deeper level. For that alone, I am pretty glad. I hope my other co-teachers get to be as lucky as me.

Throughout the retreat, we kept sharing our magic moments with each other.  For me, that retreat was another magic moment in my life. 

Let me just share this song with everyone. The simplicity of the lyrics and melody make it beautiful and inspiring. It makes me feel safe when all else is in utter chaos.

Aiza - I SEE YOU LORD
(Moy Ortiz/Edith M. Gallardo)

I'm so blessed my Lord
I can see you
In all the lovely things
So fine and true
I see you in the beauty
Of the flowers and the rain
I see you between the lines
Of a sweet refrain

I'm so blessed my Lord
I can see you
Even when I'm lonely and in pain
I see you in the beauty of the stars at night
I see you in my life
I feel alright

I see you Lord
In sorrow and in happiness
I see you in the glory
Of sweet success
I see you Lord
Every hour, everyday
I can see you Lord
Whenever I pray

I'm so blessed my Lord
I can see you
In the smile of a baby

Sweet and true
I can see you in the eyes
Of my very best friends
I see you in these bonds
Just like your love that never ends

I see you Lord
In sorrow and in happiness
I see you in the glory
Of sweet success
I see you Lord
Every hour, everyday
I can see you Lord
Whenever I pray

I see you Lord
In sorrow and in happiness
I see you in the glory
Of sweet success
I see you Lord
Every hour, everyday
I can see you Lord
Whenever I pray

I pray...
I can see you Lord
Whenever I pray...
I see you Lord...

I See You Lord

There are no classes again. I don't even know if that's a good or a bad thing anymore. I need some rest. I've been checking paper after paper, project after project nonstop for the past two days. I feel like I'm going crazy reading stuff. Heh.

Now, I have a bit of time to rest before I start computing grades. Still, I also feel a bit anxious. We haven't started any formal lesson yet for the new quarter. Now, that worries me a whole lot.

Oh well, I might as well enjoy myself while I have time.